Small Wonders
by LilyGhost
Summary: The Burg grapevine winds its way around Stephanie again before something out of her control silences it.


**All familiar characters and events belong to Janet. The rest of the story and the mistakes are mine alone. **

"This is bad," I told Ranger. "I just know it. My life had to take three elevators, two escalators, and a freakin' crane, just to get back to rock bottom after dealing with Dickie. I'll let you take your pick of which time I'm referring to. And I was _an adult_. He's not father material."

Thanks to Mary Lou and Connie, I'd just found out minutes before through them via the Burg grapevine, that my ex-douchebag husband knocked up a drunken skank that surprisingly isn't Joyce. I know both offending parties, having divorced one and arrested the other for going FTA after yet another OWI arrest that led to a license suspension. So her trying to make a driving get-away from me was a double no-no. Mom and dad of the year they are NOT, and I'd hoped never to see either one again, but now there's going to be a little person depending on two utterly-inept assholes to give him or her life ... and then keep them alive for eighteen years after birth.

"Orr isn't _human _material, let alone one who should be allowed to procreate," Ranger had no trouble telling me.

"Tell me about it. So what are we going to do about this?"

"Seems like it's too late to do anything. The damage has already been done."

"But these two idiots can cause way more damage if no one steps in to make sure they grow up real fast and finally act responsibly and less like the self-obsessed assholes they are."

"We don't have any laws that determine who can have children and who should've been made sterile. I don't think your parents are great ones, but I wouldn't have _you_ if they didn't have children. What appears bad on the surface can turn out incredibly well in the end."

"I get that. And thank you for making me glad that my parents _did _have me, but don't you have somebody you can call that will be able to keep tabs on Dickhole and the Dragon Lady? Legally or illegally? I'm not real concerned about your gray areas when it comes to protecting someone who desperately needs it."

"I can call in a favor."

"_Please_. I'll owe you."

"No price, Babe. You know that, but remember that what Orr, or anyone else, chooses to do ... is not your fault or your responsibility. You can't police everyone even when you know they need it."

"You've been hired to be a bodyguard for kids before," I pointed out. "This is almost the same thing."

"You're going to just let me handle this and him?"

"Maybe."

"_Stephanie _..." he warned.

"I can't help it. Every time I think I'm finally free of my past, something happens and it inevitably flicks its chin at my gaining independence from it. If I happen to bump into Dickie, he's getting an earful, a few painful chest pokes, and a threat I will follow through on if he fucks up here."

I stood in the middle of Ranger's living room, looking around for something ... _anything _... to kick in frustration, but I like Ranger and his stuff too much to act on the impulse.

My mother is going to be up to her disapproving eyeballs in this 'story' and will be giving me updates I don't want every hour until she realizes I turned my phone off. Ranger's right, this isn't _my _problem, but my mother and everyone I know outside of the Rangeman building are going to make me feel like it is. What the hell do I do to avoid getting sucked back into the craziness I barely escaped by loving and moving in with Ranger?

If I butt out, this kid will be left to fend for itself. That thought left what I know is going to be a perpetual knot in my stomach. If I stick my nose in, I'll have to personally witness how badly these jerks mess this kid up. That held about as much appeal as the first option. Having been a member of the family for less than a minute, I know that when it comes to childcare or producing a functioning member of society, my ex-in-laws will be as much help as an ATM, spitting out money instead of affection. It's been a while since I had the misfortune of speaking to the jackass, but when I had ... Dickie still acted more like a child himself than an adult, even though he's closing in on the four-decade mark.

So it's basically up to whoever Ranger knows in the DCF department or the mob, depending which information avenue he chose to tap into, and my inability to let what I believe is a crime go without trying to prevent or solve it, to protect this baby. And that sucks because I had been working my way out of Dickie's life long before I had even married him.

"It'll be okay, Steph," Ranger promised me. "We'll make sure of it. This kid will have a good life, not like the one you grew yourself up in ... or I'll arrange a murder/suicide and get the child the parents he/she deserves."

I know that's just a rare display of Ranger-humor to make me feel better, but even understanding that ... it worked. He and I are still so new to me, I keep forgetting that I'm not alone in any area of my life anymore. If I'm upset, he finds a way for me not to be. Hopefully, he can say the same thing about me. I'm not perfect, but I've tried to be better than I was and be someone who has earned a man as special as he is.

"Sorry for freaking out about this," I told him. "You didn't sign up for babysitting my baggage."

"I'll go through anything_, have gone _through everything, to get you where you now are ... living in my apartment after admitting that you need to be a permanent part of my life. And I will continue to do what I have to in order to keep you happy and right by my side."

"Believe me, I'm not going anywhere unless you're taking me. Aside from this bit of news, I swear to you ... I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I love you more than I thought it's possible for me to love anyone."

"Would you like to celebrate that fact?"

"With pizza? I'll call it in."

He clotheslined my hips so I couldn't leave the room. "I was thinking of you accompanying me to _IL_ _Buongustaio_."

"You're planning on wining and dining me tonight with a fancy Italian dinner?"

"Yes. You interested?"

"_Very_," I told him, curling my arms around his waist and curving my lips into a smile before kissing him. "Give me ten minutes to change."

"You wearing what you called your 'Wonder Woman' dress?" He asked, knowing me well.

"Yep. You seem to have liked it when I showed it to you."

"What's not to like? It's red and tight enough to tease me with what I know is underneath it, but in a way that will only make me want to shoot half of the people who look in your direction."

"Plus, it's got a gold belt like Wonder Woman has. I bet I could save a city while wearing it."

"No doubt."

"I'll be right back," I said, kissing him again just because I can and I enjoy it so much. "Hold my spot."

If anything, my pre-Ranger life should've taught me not to be over thirty-percent happy or something will come along and kick me in the teeth again. Connie's face pressed into the bonds office window two weeks later, warned me that she has news and had been counting down the minutes until I showed up to share it with me. I looked in her general direction like she's a big-haired rattlesnake set on biting me. Given the Orr blast from my awful past, and my equally awful cousin who requested my presence to pick up paperwork on people I still have to pick up, I have plenty of reasons to have my guard up.

"Let me guess," I said to Connie as I walked in, knowing this involved me in some way ... _everything _always involves me, "Dickie sneezed, Morelli said 'Gesundheit', and my mother handed Orr a tissue before she invited both a-holes over for dinner."

"Hah-hah. Very funny," Connie told me. "This is serious ... Dickie's baby-mama was taken to St. Francis and suffered a miscarriage not long after. There is going to be no little Dick now."

My mouth dropped open and only after a solid minute did I remember to cover it as I whispered ... "_Oh God_."

"Yeah ... the Burg is reeling. More so than when they first found out he got someone pregnant without the benefit of marriage. Well ... she's technically still married, just not to him."

I still didn't say anything, just managed to move my feet enough to get me over to the couch across from Connie's desk that I normally stay standing just to avoid having to touch.

"_Steph?_" I thought I heard Connie say, but I was busy being trapped in my own head.

I was worried that Dickie didn't have it in him to be a good father, and I know the woman is even worse than Joyce is when it comes to loving someone other than herself, but I never would've asked for this to happen to them. The thoughts and the guilt kept rolling and swirling around in my head. I must've been quiet for long enough to scare Connie because she sent out the Bat signal, and my better half arrived on-scene within minutes.

"_Stephanie?_" Ranger was saying before my neck could even reach a full tingle.

His voice penetrated whereas Connie's I'd been able to tune out. "They lost the baby," I told him, not being able to soften the blow.

Not that I needed to. Ranger would already know, having faster and more accurate sources of information than Connie. I wish someone could beam me up and spit me out somewhere else. Logically, I know my concerns couldn't have caused this, but I feel _I alone _am to blame.

My eyes remained dry, but they and my mind felt scraped raw. Ranger reached out, snagged my hand, and pulled me to him.

"Why?" I asked the chest I had buried my face in hoping to steal some of his strength.

"No one knows why something like this happens or to who," he told me.

"I haven't stopped hating Dickie since Joyce. Then he almost got me murdered by Petiak and had me worried about being convicted on fake-murder charge that he and Morelli set me up to take the fall in, but I never would've wished this kind of hurt on him. I was actually praying like hell that he would prove me wrong and be a great dad."

"I know, Babe. I definitely don't care for Orr myself, so I understand what you're feeling. I'm here ... you can let everything out that you need to."

I could feel my eyes blinking stupidly up at him when I lifted my head, but I can't seem to control what they're doing ... or what my brain kept repeating.

"Did I cause it by wishing they didn't have a baby so I could go back to not having to think about them?"

Thankfully, Ranger had the sense I'm currently lacking, and moved us out of the bonds office and out of Connie's earshot. Only after I was sitting in his Turbo and he was back behind the wheel yet facing me, did I continue to spit my thoughts out.

"It feels like this is my fault," I admitted.

"It isn't, Stephanie. It could have been something that just was not meant to be, but if this miscarriage had outside forces that contributed to it, and not something entirely biological, from some of the reports I've received ... I'd say the mother not wanting to give up what she preferred drinking and smoking would've put an unhealthy amount of stress on the baby. If the child had made it, he or she likely would've had problems beyond who their parents are. I didn't want to worry you further by telling you this, but she learned she was pregnant only because she'd been in the ER believing she needed immediate treatment for alcohol poisoning. That's not a good start to a healthy life."

"No, it isn't. But that doesn't make me feel any better," I told him.

"I know. Nothing can or will make this better, but we have no choice except to accept it."

"This sucks."

"It does, but it also makes me appreciate Julie even more."

He just did it again. He got my brain veering off in another and far less sad direction.

"Have you ever wanted more kids?" I asked him.

"Until recently, I didn't think I deserved what I already have, never mind allow myself to be greedy and wish for more."

"Am I your '_until recently_'?"

"You are, Babe. And you continue to be my everything before and after it."


End file.
